COMPETENCY

Deals with difficult team members in a way that honors them as individuals and identifies healthy next steps for them to take spiritually and in ministry.

OBJECTIVE

To learn how to handle conflict in a way that that brings people closer together instead of farther apart.

ASSIGNMENTS:

ASSIGNMENT 1

Philippians 4:2-3 (NIV)

“I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. Yes, and I ask you, loyal yokefellow, help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel. Along with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.”

Acts 15:36-41 (NIV)

“Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, ‘Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing.’ Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company, Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.”

QUESTIONS:

  1. Who around you could you ask for advice in dealing with conflict? Who is your Paul in the Philippians passage and who are your brothers in the Act's passage who can give sound advice without taking sides?

  2. How does unity prevail in both passages?

  3. What issues common among your team need to be solved and which are just an “agree to disagree” situation? What healthy next step was identified for Euodia and Syntyche spiritually? How can you apply that to solving conflicts on your team?

  4. Are there any people need to be reminded to agree in the Lord like Euodia and Syntyche?

  5. Would you be a Barnabas or a Paul in that conflict in Acts? Have you ever experienced a situation like that? What did you do?

  6. What does it look like to give grace and forgiveness to people while not letting them walk all over you?

  7. How did the leaders respond to Barnabas and Paul’s conflict? What healthy next step was identified for them in ministry? How can you apply that to solving conflict in your team?

  8. Does conflict disqualify anyone in from doing Kingdom work?

ASSIGNMENT 2

Listen to Andy Stanley’s podcast on managing tension and answer these questions:

QUESTIONS:

  1. What are the different personality types of those on your team and how does that affect the communication and function of every person?

  2. What is a tension that needs to be managed on your team?

  3. How can you make each person feel heard who are on the opposing sides of those tensions?

  4. What guardrails would you put in place to not let either side win?

  5. What are conflicts that need to be solved and not managed?

  6. Is there a problem that keeps resurfacing that is actually a tension that you originally thought was a conflict?

  7. Are there mature advocates on both sides of the tensions on your team?

  8. What are the upsides to each view in the tensions you need to manage? How can you maximize those?

  9. What are the downsides to each view in the tensions you need to manage? How can you minimize those?

  10. Is there anyone on your team who has to win? Who wants to make their decision instead of the right decision? When and where would be the best time to have a conversation with that person? What would be a healthy next step for that team member in accordance to the verses above?

  11. How does managing tensions and solving conflicts lead to more unity within anorganization?

LEADERSHIP TAKEAWAY (To be completed during group discussion)