COMPETENCY

Navigate conflict and team dynamics in a way that honors the individual and the team.

OBJECTIVE

To learn skills that will allow you navigate tension within a team, without avoiding it or pushing it to the side.

ASSIGNMENTS:

ASSIGNMENT 1 (10 min)

Read James 4:1-12 (TLB) and answer the questions.

"What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Isn’t it because there is a whole army of evil desires within you? You want what you don’t have, so you kill to get it. You long for what others have, and can’t afford it, so you start a fight to take it away from them. And yet the reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it. And even when you do ask you don’t get it because your whole aim is wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

You are like an unfaithful wife who loves her husband’s enemies. Don’t you realize that making friends with God’s enemies—the evil pleasures of this world—makes you an enemy of God? I say it again, that if your aim is to enjoy the evil pleasure of the unsaved world, you cannot also be a friend of God. Or what do you think the Scripture means when it says that the Holy Spirit, whom God has placed within us, watches over us with tender jealousy? But he gives us more and more strength to stand against all such evil longings. As the Scripture says, God gives strength to the humble but sets himself against the proud and haughty. So give yourselves humbly to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. And when you draw close to God, God will draw close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and let your hearts be filled with God alone to make them pure and true to him. Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done. Let there be sorrow and sincere grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. Then when you realize your worthlessness before the Lord, he will lift you up, encourage and help you.

Don’t criticize and speak evil about each other, dear brothers. If you do, you will be fighting against God’s law of loving one another, declaring it is wrong. But your job is not to decide whether this law is right or wrong, but to obey it. Only he who made the law can rightly judge among us. He alone decides to save us or destroy. So what right do you have to judge or criticize others?"

QUESTIONS:

  1. In reading through the above scriptures, how does the bible show us how to treat others that we are in disagreement or conflict with?

  2. Peace-makers see conflict as an assignment, not an accident. They approach the problem with humility, reasonableness, and seeking wisdom from God (James 3:17-18). They do not intimidate, but they also do not hide. They expect conflict, embrace the opportunity to resolve things biblically, and have an urgency to keep unity in the midst of hard times. What would it look like to be the peace-maker in situations of conflict that you have encountered in the past?

ASSIGNMENT 2

Read the article “Tips and Tools for Healthy Conflict Resolution” by Mary Yerkes.

QUESTIONS:

  1. Have you ever faced conflict in your life, that like Pamela, came at the worst moment? How did you react/respond?

  2. What steps would you need to take in past conflicts to not only honor, but preserve the relationship?

ASSIGNMENT 3

Read the Leadercast video transcript “When Faced with Conflict, Lean In” with Hank Fortner.

QUESTIONS:

  1. Identify a time when you avoided a person or project due to feelings of tension or conflict. Looking back, how might you have faced that conflict?

  2. Name two or three instances in your life when you did not achieve the goal you set out to accomplish. Do you think that avoiding conflict contributed to any of these “failures?” If not, what common behavior might have been a cause or contributor?

  3. Hank believes that the best way to have a difficult conversation is to give empathy, not information, because “nobody changes their mind because you give him or her more information.” Do you agree or disagree? Why?

  4. Is this idea of leaning into conflict contradictory to or in-line with what you have been taught in the past? Explain.

ASSIGNMENT 4

Watch “Fixer Upper: Demo Day

 

QUESTIONS:

  1. In your experience, how does pride impact people’s lives?

  2. Do you agree or disagree with the idea that pride isolates us from God and others? If you agree, what are some of the ways this happens? If you disagree, why?

  3. What is one thing you can do differently this week to put the needs of someone else above your own needs?

  4. Has your pride created conflict in your life? How can you demo your pride?

LEADERSHIP TAKEAWAY (To be completed during group discussion)